I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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