I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
