i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
