I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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