That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
