I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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