lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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