He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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