Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
