Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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