Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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