Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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