i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
