He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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