Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
