There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
