so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
