That's intense
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
