I can text with my tongue
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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