How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
