you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
