Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
now i know why i became what i already was.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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