Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
