I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I currently don't understand fingers.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
