There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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