So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Say something about gay babies.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
