she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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