It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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