Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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