We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
