Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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