This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
