I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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