I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
