So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
