But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
