Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
