i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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