We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
