Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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