So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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