Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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