so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
