"it" just moved
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
