I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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