Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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