Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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