bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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