So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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