whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
