I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
