I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
