Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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