watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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