I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
