Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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