This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
