a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
